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| Dazzle-camouflaged SS Australford (c1918) |
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Dion Clayton Calthrop, CAMOUFLAGE ABSOLUTE: Ship That Wasn’t There; Sailed with Harlequin Crew, in Queensland Times (Ipswich, Queensland AU), May 28, 1918, p. 6—
[In a shipboard
conversation between Captains Holloway and Mason, the latter says] “…You remember
last Thursday, when it was blowing up for dirty weather?”
“I was two hours overdue,”
said Holloway.
“I was just about to turn
in in to get a snooze before sailing in the morning when the officer in charge
came aboard and says to me, ‘Mason,’ he says, ‘you’ve got to find room for
Major Dash and his gear.’ That’s correct, ain’t it, Herbert?”
“The very words,” said he.
“Hell, I was full up in the
hold and I’d got some goods stowed away on deck, and I tell you I was fair
horrified when the major stepped into the light and says to me, ‘Captain,’ he
says, ‘I’m a camouflage officer, and I’m just bringing by paints and canvas
along with me.’ And there, sure enough, was about twenty kegs of paint on the
quayside, and a great bundle of canvas. However, what with a war on and all
that, I merely says ‘Yes, sir,’ and got the hands to work fixing these
blistering kegs on deck and getting the gear stowed away snug and shipshape.”
“Twenty kegs?” said
Holloway.
“Of paint.”
“Bad luck for a keg to come
so low as paint,” said Holloway. “I’ve carried lily bulbs and parasols and
dried cuttlefish in the China seas but never paint.”
“It was blowing nearly a
gale, nor’ by nor’-east most of the night,” the skipper went on, “and, though
the wind dropped towards daybreak, there was plenty of sea running. However, I
had some stuff to get across, and out we went. The major was full of pluck, and
stood it for the first hour, and then his face went all colors till it got
blue, and then he gave it up…”
“I’ve seen them like that,”
said Holloway.
“I’ve been like it once,”
said Mason, “but I put it down to pork chops and stout followed by jam roll,
but that’s neither here nor there. What happened next gave me the regular
jumps. Them kegs [of camouflage paint] broke away, and then the fun began. One
keg bashed up against another keg, and after a time when they was pounding away
on deck they began to leak. Old man, it was awful, but it pulled the major
together, and we got all hands what could be spared to lash ‘em up fast again.
We done that, but the damage was done, and I believe the major would have cried
if he’d been alone, not feeling strong at the time. The men was blue and green
and yellow. I had one red boot and one purple arm. As for the major—well, if a
rainbow could swear, that’s what he was. Lord, I did envy him his education.”
“And a gale blowing at the
time?” said Holloway, incredulously.
“Hurricane,” said Mason…
“And the ship?”
“Camouflaged herself
proper. Decks swimming with paint of all colors, and the paint streaming over
the sides. Why, we was so invisible I could hardly see the ship myself. Come
into port with one boat on the port side stove in and the men like a pack of
harlequins. Took me and Herbert all our time rubbing each other down so’s we
wouldn’t look like a sea-circus.”
“What did the major do?”
asked Holloway.
“Him? He was a rare good
‘un. He finished the job when we fetched up our moorings. ‘Captain,’ he said,
‘I’m a superstitious man,’ he said, ‘and what Nature bean I’ll finish.’ And he
done it.”
Holloway turned his eye
seawards, and let his gaze rest over the crowded harbor. In the panorama before
him were troopships, destroyers, lighters, mine-sweepers, motor boats, and
fishing xxxx, with an airplane overhead.
“Your boat there?” he
asked.
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| Dazzle-camouflaged SS City of Karachi (c1918), starboard |
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